Archives for : white

You Can’t Revoke My Black Identity Because I Date White People

the politics of black love

A couple weeks back i had an interesting interaction with a black woman. Not quite a stranger but mos def not someone i would call a friend. I run in various circles in the tdot so i have a lot of people who know of me, feel they no me but in actual fact don’t know shit about me.
Case in point, this said acquaintance whom ive crossed paths with over the years had some interesting accusations to lay upon me.  It seems that the “validity of my blackness” was questionable because of my dating choices. I’ve had a few white partners in my past and possibly the fact that i have white friends led said black woman to have the audacity to try and discredit me as a black person.
I had to laugh, cuz to me that shit was hella funny. First off I had no idea people are watching me so hard to be concerned with who i’m sleeping with yet they don’t even have my number in their phone. Furthermore the fact that this had been a burning topic they clearly had been dying to bring up “i’ve been watching you for years and i have to question the validity of ur blackness cuz u date white people” had me trippin.
Who im fucking ain’t no ones business first off. 2nd who i’m fucking has no bearing on how my black skin is a permanent fixture. Dating outside my race won’t fix the fact that i get profiled, deal with systemic racism and cracker shit on the daily.  Nor do i think it will. However i do feel aways that said person, obviously feeling so high and mighty about themselves and their position in this world (which is nothing cuz u aint create the universe  nor did i) feels that they somehow have the power to strip me of my blackness. ur words may hold wait in a poetic spoken word sphere but clearly ur consciousness is lacking.
We keep on having these discussions of race and what it means to be black and some people feel they have the right to criticize another humans life choices. U don’t have the right though. U should be more concerned about who ur fucking and doing it well as opposed to worrying bout how someone else is getting off.
Does it make me less black if i’m dating white people? No. Do u feel a way about my stance on talking about anti black racism and how they’re trying to erase us yet i might be going home to a white partner? Who cares. Cuz at the end of the day my support network is based on who i have around me that uplifts me and pushes me to do better. If ur not in that circle there’s a reason.  Plus i think i’m a pretty good judge of character of the white people i have hanging around me.
I don’t put down black people by dating others. I understand if i was going around talking shit about black people then going home to a white partner u’d feel aways but that’s not how i roll. I talk about cracker shit all the time and my white friends know the system i’m talking about and they fuck wit me. Being in relatinships is work i’m not gonna purposely date someone on the basis that they’re black to appease some strangers perspective of what being black or showcasing black love is. And neither should u.
There’s enough problems in the world to be dealt with. Finding comforting, healthy loving relationships in a world that’s hell bent on destroying u is hard enough as it is. It’s revolutionary just to be able to be vulnerable with someone that’s gonna have ur back. Not everyone that’s black has the same ideals as me. Same way that not everyone who  benefits from anti black racism is out to make ur life hard.

Feminist Haunted House Review

So last night I ventured out the the Lesbian Rule Feminist Haunted House here in Toronto.  Pretty much all of Toronto’s white lesbians must have been in attendance from 6 pm till midnight cuz there was a steady stream lined up around the block since time. My first trigger was the white person with the dreadlocks and the chains hanging from their pants as a good indication that I was in for some deep cracker shit.


I’m not sure who’s bright idea it was to have someone in a costume like this but I for one was not feeling it.  Cuz u know I wish I could just have the option of taking off my black skin every once and a while so that people wouldn’t be threatened.  Wouldn’t that be lovely *major face palm for this one.

Next time people just choose another wig it woulda made things so much better.

Next on almost getting to the entrance we are greeted with said person on the left who wants to adorn us with glitter.


I was pretty adamant I didn’t want any glitter on my purple yeezys or anywhere else on my body.  You think a feminist would respect when someone says “no” well clearly no fucks were being given about that today because after the person backed off said person must have caught a slight case of amnesia because the glitter tried to get acquainted with my yeezys. HELL TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN NO!!!! Thankfully white people’s aim tends to be bad and they kinda slow so the kicks were unharmed.


Next we enter the dwellings of said haunted house…

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As we waited for our turn to enter the performance space I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable while listening to the wailing of a performer going off on men in a not so charming way.  Slightly violent and mos def making me feel like maybe I shouldn’t have come here.  As someone who isn’t a femme, feminist or white I was kinda taken aback at the venom towards men I was hearing.  Not sure how to fully describe it but it made me feel as if my masculine energy wasn’t wanted in the space.  That wasn’t any fun AT ALL!

So after being fully trigger we get into the space and start seeing a performance.


Something about culture and people…I kinda got distracted cuz I felt like I was in a white girl seance.  Something along the lines of what I picture happens during those summer camps that all the rich white girls I went to high school with got to go to… It looked like this


I digress…

Moving along we got to meet our “demented professor” aka Dainty Box whom by the way was one of 3 black people I saw as actual participants throughout this whole escapade.  She was awesome as always!!


We saw some really awesome put together pieces of art/sculpture like vaginas and voluptuous women  and such.  I admire the detail that went into those.  Not sure if I understood the concept of the masked people with eyeballs in their vaginas but its art performance so it worked!?!

The one part I actually enjoyed the most was the lavender corridor we crawled thru which had a real couple recreating their love/sex thru noise laughter and touch.  That actually left me feeling really happy cuz you could actually feel the positive loving energy between them as if you were actually involved in that interaction.  Not as a bystander but as someone who can feel love. *probably just my part virgo sensitive side but whatever i was uplifted.

Now I’m not gonna give a full rundown of everything that I saw cuz that might just be mean and if need be you should experience it yourself however I’m not done discussing the rest of the bullshit.

So laddi laddi da we get to the end of the house where there is a “Processing Room” * but of course right cuz as we all know that’s a lesbians favourite past time adventure…I’m not kidding

Anyhow the room is purposely decked out in a nice calm cooling blue light and there are a few active listeners there waiting for our feedback.  Most of the peeps didn’t say much… Along the way I proceeded to pick up a foam battle axe so try and picture me with it as you read what I’m about to write.  I calmly proceeded to tell said listener about the sheer whiteness of this project with the art/paintings of all white people to the lack of inclusion of anything other than white feminist gaze perceptions/performances.  The white person with the dreads and chain and how triggering that was for me as a black person with locks to see such disrespect.  The Lack of intersectional analysis of other black, people of colour and indigenous thoughts/ways of feminism.  Needless to say said active listener told me that I could ” just leave all of that here in this room so that you don’t have to take that with you” * there were and movements people of a snapping of fingers in the “puff” variety… oh lord we ain’t in Kansas anymore.

Really so I was just supposed to leave all that racism and bullshit in this blue light room you created to make that shit disappear.  Why thank you white jesus for being so considerate of my feelings… because obviously you knew some of your shit was fucked.  Like for real for real.  The kicker was when I was asked how I could be helped?  It ain’t about helping me it’s about dealing with your fuckery and white supremacist anti black racist thought that needs to change.  Cuz that shit was fucked be.


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