Archives for : love

You Can’t Revoke My Black Identity Because I Date White People

the politics of black love

A couple weeks back i had an interesting interaction with a black woman. Not quite a stranger but mos def not someone i would call a friend. I run in various circles in the tdot so i have a lot of people who know of me, feel they no me but in actual fact don’t know shit about me.
Case in point, this said acquaintance whom ive crossed paths with over the years had some interesting accusations to lay upon me.  It seems that the “validity of my blackness” was questionable because of my dating choices. I’ve had a few white partners in my past and possibly the fact that i have white friends led said black woman to have the audacity to try and discredit me as a black person.
I had to laugh, cuz to me that shit was hella funny. First off I had no idea people are watching me so hard to be concerned with who i’m sleeping with yet they don’t even have my number in their phone. Furthermore the fact that this had been a burning topic they clearly had been dying to bring up “i’ve been watching you for years and i have to question the validity of ur blackness cuz u date white people” had me trippin.
Who im fucking ain’t no ones business first off. 2nd who i’m fucking has no bearing on how my black skin is a permanent fixture. Dating outside my race won’t fix the fact that i get profiled, deal with systemic racism and cracker shit on the daily.  Nor do i think it will. However i do feel aways that said person, obviously feeling so high and mighty about themselves and their position in this world (which is nothing cuz u aint create the universe  nor did i) feels that they somehow have the power to strip me of my blackness. ur words may hold wait in a poetic spoken word sphere but clearly ur consciousness is lacking.
We keep on having these discussions of race and what it means to be black and some people feel they have the right to criticize another humans life choices. U don’t have the right though. U should be more concerned about who ur fucking and doing it well as opposed to worrying bout how someone else is getting off.
Does it make me less black if i’m dating white people? No. Do u feel a way about my stance on talking about anti black racism and how they’re trying to erase us yet i might be going home to a white partner? Who cares. Cuz at the end of the day my support network is based on who i have around me that uplifts me and pushes me to do better. If ur not in that circle there’s a reason.  Plus i think i’m a pretty good judge of character of the white people i have hanging around me.
I don’t put down black people by dating others. I understand if i was going around talking shit about black people then going home to a white partner u’d feel aways but that’s not how i roll. I talk about cracker shit all the time and my white friends know the system i’m talking about and they fuck wit me. Being in relatinships is work i’m not gonna purposely date someone on the basis that they’re black to appease some strangers perspective of what being black or showcasing black love is. And neither should u.
There’s enough problems in the world to be dealt with. Finding comforting, healthy loving relationships in a world that’s hell bent on destroying u is hard enough as it is. It’s revolutionary just to be able to be vulnerable with someone that’s gonna have ur back. Not everyone that’s black has the same ideals as me. Same way that not everyone who  benefits from anti black racism is out to make ur life hard.