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Rob Ford’s Jamaican Fiasco and Why it Offends me

By now you’ve probably seen the video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford in another one of his drunken stupors speaking patois.

Patois is not Jamaican english.  Patois is it’s own language coming out of Jamaica.  Born out of when the slaves were communicating with each other without the slave masters knowing as the slaves were not permitted to speak. They developed their own language so that if the slave masters caught them they wouldn’t understand.  Now what is so perturbing is that the media is referencing it as “Jamaican english” or “rob for was speaking in a Jamaican accent” thanks Anderson Cooper but no it wasn’t a Jamaican accent but it’s own distinct language… what kind of journalist are you?

Now what is the crux of my disturbance is how everyone and their mother wants to be Jamaican until the cops show up.  I grew up in a time when Jamaicans were seriously stereotyped.  We were drug smoking gangster no good dutty thieves.  Even other black people would be like “i’m black but I’m not Jamaican”.  I remember when the Just Desserts shooting happened ( a white woman was gunned down by some robbers who happened to be Jamaicans).  Everyone in the media were vilifying us.  They wanted us all deported.  We couldn’t catch a break.

When I was going to school kids would come back from a Jamaican vacation and come up to me like “Eh man” etc… they’d quickly get punched in the face cuz i wasn’t about that shit.  I went to school with kids who’s only interactions with Jamaicans were their nannies otherwise we weren’t permitted in their homes.  My Great Grandmother cleaned their houses and took care of their kids but as a whole we weren’t invited to their parties.  But we were sure good enough to wipe their asses.

Canada only started letting black immigrants (specifically coming from the Caribbean) into the country in the 1960’s.  You could have had a nursing degree or be a doctor in your country but that didn’t mean shit here.  Nuff people were regulated to domestic work and treated like shit.

So here comes this monstrosity of a human named Rob Ford whom by the way is laughing his ass off for getting that black man killed for the crack tape that he denied so hard but then owned up too… ( i haven’t forgotten that white privilege is everything).  So he gets some jerk chicken and starts using words from our Jamaican language but he wasn’t making sense just making an ass of himself.  It’s problematic because people take we for joke but it’s no laughing matter.  Of course white people and non Jamaicans put on some Jafakin accent when their around their friends and pretend like they us.  It’s fucking offensive but do you think they see it that way. No, because they’re probably smoking a fatty and listening to Bob Marley and believe in this kumbaya shit.

He doesn’t get props for being exposed as someone who has been around Jamaicans and knows how to make fun of us.  People take this as a joke but it’s serious tings a gwannin here star.  He doesn’t get to be profiled or have social programs that benefit the non white community cut.  He doesn’t have people bad mouthing him on the basis of their country of origin (although he does get made fun of for being “fat” some will say. it ain’t the same thing).  He’s a rich white man who can literally get away with murder, smoke crack and still run the 4th largest city in North Amerikkka.  You think the same privilege would be alotted to someone who was a black Jamaican in the same instance?  Fuck no, even if they were born here but had Jamaican ancestry they’d find a way to deport them.  Cuz that’s always the solution for us.

Everyone wants to be us but don’t wanna deal with our struggle.  I’m tired of you Jafakins with ur dutty locs perpetrating like u rasta yet you don’t know what it means.  I’m appalled at everyone who sings along to Bob Marley but won’t take in the content of his message.  You don’t know what oppression is when all you do is travel to our island to smoke weed, fornicate with the youngsters on the beach and drink a red stripe.  Your not special and your not fooling anyone.  I’ma need you perpetrators to stop.

As for Rob Ford he’ll continue with his fuckery but he doesn’t get a bly cuz he can say the word bombaclaat.