Feminist Haunted House Review

So last night I ventured out the the Lesbian Rule Feminist Haunted House here in Toronto.  Pretty much all of Toronto’s white lesbians must have been in attendance from 6 pm till midnight cuz there was a steady stream lined up around the block since time. My first trigger was the white person with the dreadlocks and the chains hanging from their pants as a good indication that I was in for some deep cracker shit.


I’m not sure who’s bright idea it was to have someone in a costume like this but I for one was not feeling it.  Cuz u know I wish I could just have the option of taking off my black skin every once and a while so that people wouldn’t be threatened.  Wouldn’t that be lovely *major face palm for this one.

Next time people just choose another wig it woulda made things so much better.

Next on almost getting to the entrance we are greeted with said person on the left who wants to adorn us with glitter.


I was pretty adamant I didn’t want any glitter on my purple yeezys or anywhere else on my body.  You think a feminist would respect when someone says “no” well clearly no fucks were being given about that today because after the person backed off said person must have caught a slight case of amnesia because the glitter tried to get acquainted with my yeezys. HELL TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN NO!!!! Thankfully white people’s aim tends to be bad and they kinda slow so the kicks were unharmed.


Next we enter the dwellings of said haunted house…

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As we waited for our turn to enter the performance space I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable while listening to the wailing of a performer going off on men in a not so charming way.  Slightly violent and mos def making me feel like maybe I shouldn’t have come here.  As someone who isn’t a femme, feminist or white I was kinda taken aback at the venom towards men I was hearing.  Not sure how to fully describe it but it made me feel as if my masculine energy wasn’t wanted in the space.  That wasn’t any fun AT ALL!

So after being fully trigger we get into the space and start seeing a performance.


Something about culture and people…I kinda got distracted cuz I felt like I was in a white girl seance.  Something along the lines of what I picture happens during those summer camps that all the rich white girls I went to high school with got to go to… It looked like this


I digress…

Moving along we got to meet our “demented professor” aka Dainty Box whom by the way was one of 3 black people I saw as actual participants throughout this whole escapade.  She was awesome as always!!


We saw some really awesome put together pieces of art/sculpture like vaginas and voluptuous women  and such.  I admire the detail that went into those.  Not sure if I understood the concept of the masked people with eyeballs in their vaginas but its art performance so it worked!?!

The one part I actually enjoyed the most was the lavender corridor we crawled thru which had a real couple recreating their love/sex thru noise laughter and touch.  That actually left me feeling really happy cuz you could actually feel the positive loving energy between them as if you were actually involved in that interaction.  Not as a bystander but as someone who can feel love. *probably just my part virgo sensitive side but whatever i was uplifted.

Now I’m not gonna give a full rundown of everything that I saw cuz that might just be mean and if need be you should experience it yourself however I’m not done discussing the rest of the bullshit.

So laddi laddi da we get to the end of the house where there is a “Processing Room” * but of course right cuz as we all know that’s a lesbians favourite past time adventure…I’m not kidding

Anyhow the room is purposely decked out in a nice calm cooling blue light and there are a few active listeners there waiting for our feedback.  Most of the peeps didn’t say much… Along the way I proceeded to pick up a foam battle axe so try and picture me with it as you read what I’m about to write.  I calmly proceeded to tell said listener about the sheer whiteness of this project with the art/paintings of all white people to the lack of inclusion of anything other than white feminist gaze perceptions/performances.  The white person with the dreads and chain and how triggering that was for me as a black person with locks to see such disrespect.  The Lack of intersectional analysis of other black, people of colour and indigenous thoughts/ways of feminism.  Needless to say said active listener told me that I could ” just leave all of that here in this room so that you don’t have to take that with you” * there were and movements people of a snapping of fingers in the “puff” variety… oh lord we ain’t in Kansas anymore.

Really so I was just supposed to leave all that racism and bullshit in this blue light room you created to make that shit disappear.  Why thank you white jesus for being so considerate of my feelings… because obviously you knew some of your shit was fucked.  Like for real for real.  The kicker was when I was asked how I could be helped?  It ain’t about helping me it’s about dealing with your fuckery and white supremacist anti black racist thought that needs to change.  Cuz that shit was fucked be.


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Comments (10)

  1. lesbian crab bitch of color from outer space

    wow im sorry that you had to step foot into such a dark and sad place personally i am surprised that they forgot to make a sign that says welcome to white lesbian hell. long live racism and transphobia said the cracker dyke as she smashed a plaster dick in her dreadlocks wig

  2. GG

    Relieved to hear that I wasn’t the only POC that was surprised by how overwhelmingly white it all was.

    It would have been more interesting if the haunted house had acknowledge how white and middle class the feminism they were espousing/projecting was/is.

    Perhaps with an exhibit on how women of colour are marginalized in both feminist and queer circles.

  3. Mike

    some of the characters were purposely to reflect ugly activism – to show how scary that can be – this was the case with the white tree hugger with dreadlocks. In other words, it was to acknowledge that white middle class kids will go out to into the world as activist and appropriate in correctly. But the fact that got missed in translation means it was a failed attempt. But please be careful putting that actor in danger because of your blog. You posted a picture of them and essentially called them a cracker. Hopefully you will have some understanding that this was a failed attempt and not an intent as you are reacting to.

  4. bark

    I think some of you are missing the point. The house is a critique of the problems in the vitriol, racism, and transphobia inherent in “Lesbian feminism.”
    Sure there should be more POC involved but critique of the “man hating violence”being screamed by the performer playing Valarie Solanas betrays an unfamiliarity with the source material and generally just missing the joke. It probably plays better to self identified feminists.

  5. Morag

    Apparently you are unfamiliar with satire and the lesbian feminist tradition promoted by women’s studies classes. This work mocks the propaganda and stereotypes surrounding lesbian feminism, like exclusivity and misandry. It doesn’t uphold them, it makes fun of them. Get it.

    Typically a haunted house features dead things, the grotesque and ghosts of bygone eras. This lesbian feminist version did just that casting light on all the wrongs and hideous remnants of the past. It’s unfortunate that your critical thinking skills are lacking in your reactionary response. Further, did you expect the organizers to round up black womon and force them to attend to appease you? You sound like a huge racist with a massive chip on hir shoulder. Get over yourself. Glitter for fucks sake?! OMGEE

  6. […] latter is currently playing out in interesting and productive ways in online communities. A review by Toronto-based multimedia artist Kalmplex calls the installation out on its whiteness, on the structures of the house which make consenting […]

  7. […] latter is currently playing out in interesting and productive ways in online communities. A review by Toronto-based multimedia artist Kalmplex calls the installation out on its whiteness, on the structures of the house which make consenting […]

  8. […] and/or misrepresented and/or unwelcome in the LFHH, namely POC and transwomen. Klampex, wrote an initial blog review that was then cross-posted to the wall of the Facebook page for the event,  which resulted in […]

  9. You’ve made some really good points there. I looked on the internet for more info about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site.\

  10. […] haunted houses every Halloween to perpetuate religious dogma. The event was blogged about by Kalmplex, a black queer artist who stated that although they enjoyed the tunnel of love, it was basically […]

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